One Great Motherhood Lesson From The Movie ‘Mummy Dearest’

imagesIf you are a Nigerian and grew up in the 90’s, you may have come across one Nigerian movie that kept a lot of families glued to their screens.

It was a movie with a lot of twists, turns and suspense. It also had us see one actress grace our screens at that time, delivering one of her best and unforgettable performances in a movie.

That movie was ‘ True Confession’ and that actress is Liz Benson. Recently, I was excited when I discovered a movie she did not too long ago, titled ‘Mummy Dearest’. I put it in my plans and eventually got to watch it about two months ago.

In this movie, I got to see a calmer and different side to Liz Benson. She gave us the caring side of a mother, with bits and pieces of the overly protective side of a mother.

I will give the movie a score of 5/10, because though it was interesting to watch, the storyline was not captivating enough to keep me glued. I only watched with a purpose in mind, which was to extract lessons from the movie and that was what kept me to the end.

The story is about a mother in the winter season of her life. All of her kids had left home and she was alone. She kept herself busy with cooking and church activities. Whether she was widowed or seperated, the movie did not tell specifically.

You are welcomed to the movie with a scene of the mother calling her children to ask how they are faring and also to pray for them. It was a routine she never missed. But one of her children, the son found her calls too persistent and started to ignore her calls. This got her worried.

A few months later, her son’s colleague at work lost his mother, and that event caused him to look inwards and decide never to ignore his mom’s call. Infact he decided to spend his next vacation with her away from the city he lived. His mother was elated. You may need to watch the movie to find out more.

For me, one great lesson I extracted from the movie is that, HABITS ARE POWERFUL. This mother had a daily habit of devotion time with God. It was a part of her existence and that her children had left home to find their path was not an excuse to miss her daily devotion with God. Continue reading

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Hey Momma, I Think It Is Time For You To Declutter

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“Declutter : To remove clutter from, to tidy.”

I have and still have a habit of giving away things. My mother can testify from way back that some of all those things she kept hidden away, for no specific purpose risked being given away anytime I was around.

I obviously never got used to the act of keeping and keeping things that you know clearly in your heart you would not be using again. I simply loved that breathe of fresh air that came with decluttering.

Few years ago, I cleared out a lot of my first child’s clothes and belongings that I had kept in anticipation of birthing another child.

But days became months and months became years and there was no baby in sight. So I made a decision to declutter and give away most of those things.

You may have walked into a disorganised home at least once in your lifetime. You get to see piles and heaps of all manner of stuff stacked up in different parts of the house. It is always an uphill task when one of the occupants of that home loses something and needs to find it.

He/She gets confused at the state of disorderliness aka jumbled up stuff, and he/she does not even know where to start searching. But do you know that this is what the mind and heart of some mothers look like. Their minds are messed up and in an untidy state with so much junk within.

But how then does a mother with a messy state of mind get to inspire her children for greatness?

How then does a mother whose home is in a state of disorderliness teach her children about cleanliness and the benefits of being organised?

How then can a mother learn to love her home and breath when life seems to choke her, while her home is in a complete state of disarray?

You will agree with me that living in a spacious home gives you room to neatly stack away things that you may not be needing soon. But I believe that even when you have very little space, you can get creative and make your home a tidy haven where love, peace and joy lives.

So can I ask you this my dear mother, don’t you think it is time to declutter?

Maybe it is time to sit alone and rid your mind and soul of all the webs of deceit, circles of unbelief, chains of fearfulness and the fruitlessness of journeying with no specific goal or purpose in mind. Continue reading

What Kind of Mother Will They Remember?(Let Posterity be The Judge)

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Many years ago, I was left speechless as I listened to a young woman share with us (her friends) stories about her mother.

She broke down in tears as she recalled the injustice and untold hatred she had suffered at her mother’s hands. In her words, ‘ I wonder what I ever did to make her dislike me so much’. These memories of her mother were etched in her soul forever.

I have also listened to an elderly man share with me about his love and deep gratitude for his grandmother. He told me, ” When my own mother died, I felt no sense of pain, but when my grandmother died, I felt it deep in my heart and wept profusely.”

His grandmother was his anchor and support, when his parents left to seek greener pastures in a foreign land. Her memory lives in his heart always.

Someone here online once shared about how her mother prayed her and her siblings into good and peaceful marriages. Her mother took it as an assignment and specifically prayed for the kind of spouses she wanted her daughters to have.

In this woman’s words, ‘ Today, I and my sisters are happily married to loving men and our marriages, a reflection of God’s peace.’ Her mother’s action is one memory that will stay glued to her heart forever.

In my life’s journey, I have also watched my mother rise up from the ashes of difficulty. I have watched her stay calm in the midst of life’s storms. I have also seen through her that ‘In quietness, sometimes, therein lies your strength. ‘

I grew up seeing a heart that cares always. I also learnt about the beauty of understanding, wisdom and faith in a marriage.

But these two I will never forget, and it is that hope must never die, because light may just shine at the end of that dark tunnel. And that gratitude and contentment are great virtues to cultivate in your life’s journey. These lessons I will always hold close to my heart.

You may have heard or read about two women in the bible who had a profound impact in the life of a young man named Timothy.

These women, a grand mother and mother were able to plant seeds in the life and heart of a son, so much that the great Apostle Paul had to call them out for their godly and positive influence in the life of Timothy.

The great Martin Luther King Jr known for the famous, ‘I have a dream’ speech in an essay he wrote at Crozer Seminary, said this about his mother, Alberta King:

“She was behind the scenes setting forth those motherly cares, the lack of which leaves a missing link in life. Of all the people I have ever known, she had the greatest influence on me. I am sure one reason that the Lord has directed and safeguarded me, as well as Ruth and the children, through the years was the prayers of my mother and father.”

The life and story of America’s former President, Abraham Lincoln will be incomplete without mentioning the two women who shaped his life.

In an article titled, ‘ The Two Mothers Who Molded Lincoln‘ , the author shares about the mothers who led Lincoln on his journey to becoming one of America’s finest Presidents.

According to the author of the article, his biological mother, Nancy Hanks Lincoln who died at a young age is credited for instilling virtues of honesty and compassion in her son, and also sowing seeds of his intellectual curiosity, while his step-mother, Sarah Bush Lincoln is given credit for improving on Lincoln’s mother’s work by cultivating his reading comprehension and intellect.

In Oppenheimer’s words, “Sarah filled the enormous void in Lincoln’s life after the loss of his biological mother. Although likely illiterate herself, Sarah quenched her stepson’s thirst for knowledge by providing him with books to read. Sarah had an appreciation for the value of an education. She recognized early on there was something special about this boy and defended his right to pursue his intellectual development.”

A well-known preacher and author of ‘Amazing Grace’, John Newton was unashamed to give credit to his mother for his education and foundation in the Christian faith.

Zimbabwean entrepreneur, Strive Masiyiwa once shared some lessons he learnt from his mother. In his words, “I have often said that some of the most important qualities for running a business, I learnt from my mother. She was a businesswoman in the diaspora.”

But this lesson on saving he shared caught my attention. In his words, ” Because we did not have access to banks, or investors, we saved everything we laid our hands on. My mother was like a little ‘squirrel’, always hiding away small amounts of money. If she made a little money, she made sure that she saved as much of it as possible, for a “rainy day”.

This capacity to save money, and live within one’s means, was always taken to the extreme in our household. When I got a scholarship to go to college. My mother told me to save some of it! She would always ask me, so how much did you save? “

I am sure if I were to ask you to share something inspiring about a mother, you will have a few stories to share too. But aside the stories, words and lessons, I will like to ask you about the steps you are willing to take today as a mother, step-mother, grandmother, aunt, caregiver and woman to truly make a difference in the lives of the children put in your care. Continue reading

When I Met a Preemie For The First Time

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Her name came to heart and I decided that day to put a call across to her. She sounded a bit tired and heaved deep breaths while pausing between words as she replied my words.

I guessed the pregnancy must have taken a toll on her and I quickly encouraged her to hang in there, that this season will be over soon. I also nudged her to make sure she got enough rest. She thanked me for always checking up on her as I ended the call.

Little did I know that, at the moment we spoke, she was just about to birth her baby who was just 28-weeks old.

Her water broke and she quickly found her way to the hospital. After all necessary examination, the doctor concluded that an emergency C-section be performed to save the life of the baby.

Something she said when I met her weeks later got me thinking. She said that at that point, she asked the doctor if the babies eyes, nose and mouth and all necessary parts of her body will be present if she is brought out at this time. The doctor replied her smiling, and said that her baby will be fine.

This brings me to the question, At what point do you think a baby is fully formed? Think about it.

I have often heard stories of women who gave birth to pre-term babies, but somehow I had never met a preemie before.

A certain woman once told me about how much sacrifice and effort she put in to nurture her pre-term baby. Her daughter is all grown up now and a very confident and outspoken 7- year old.

She says each time she looks at her today, she remembers the tiny baby she birthed whose head was so big and with very little flesh covering her frame. She wondered then whether she will pull through but then, she did.

And so I got my first chance recently and stood before a pre-term baby. I stood gazing in awe of God’s creation. She was a complete being even at 28 weeks.

I marvelled at the gift of life and how God specifically chose to give women this rare privilege of carrying a life and birthing a child.

Her head was covered with hair. She had big beautiful eyes and her tiny frame cuddled close against her mother’s chest. She wiggled in her mother’s arms and opened her lips to let out a yawn. She was so little, yet so alive and adorable.

It dawned on me at that moment, not that I did not know, but I understood now that babies are fully formed in that first trimester of life.

The months that follow, only gives them the opportunity to stretch, develop, grow and add the weight that will usher them into the world, with our bodies being a safe place to nourish and hold them for that season.

But then some babies choose to show up before time, sometimes circumstances beyond our control make it so, yet nothing still compares to the joy that comes with meeting your newborn, whether it is a pre-term or full term baby. Continue reading

What If…

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What if I never got to feel the excitement that comes with missing ‘Little Miss Red’.

What if I never got to see that ‘double pink line’ that always seems to elude the pregnancy stick, especially when trying for a baby.

What if I never got to feel those tiny flutters in my womb as real life grew inside me.

What if I never got to experience the weariness and joy that comes with carrying a life inside you.

What if I never got to feel that morning sickness that always had me wanting to lay in my bed all day.

What if I never got to see my body change in the most unusual ways before my eyes.

What if I never got to experience what a fast growing waistline looked like.

What if I never got to mumble words to myself, when my clothes would simply not fit anymore.

What if I never got to see what a baby bump looked and felt like, and how quickly it grows with each trimester.

When if I never got to feel that first kick to show me that there was a growing human inside me.

What if I never got to carry my babies through those long 9 months, while awaiting the joy that comes with holding them in my arms.

What if I never got to experience the joy of birthing a life, and the emotions that follow at seeing the miracles I carried in me.

What if I never got to soothe and hold a baby, whose temperature kept rising through the night.

What if I never got the chance to say affirmations with a growing child, and show him how words can build or break him.

What if I never got the chance to hear my little girl tell me, ‘Mummy, I want to hug you. ‘

What if I never got to hear clamping feet and screaming voices, that give life and energy to my home.

What if I never got to hear the words, ‘Mummy’, reminding me always of this great privilege I have been given.

But then,

I did. Continue reading

Motherhood Lessons From the Cross – Is There Hope for The Weary, Hurting and Tired Mother?

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Nothing can be more heart wrenching for a mother than this…..

To watch her child draw his/her last breath. This was her breaking point.

She witnessed firsthand how he was betrayed by one of his own. She watched in pain as he was despised and a criminal chosen in his place.

She watched as many spat in his face. She saw them force a crown of thorns carelessly on his head. She looked on as they cast lots with his garment.

She saw him carry the cross and wished to take the weight off his shoulder. Her heart leaped in pain, as she watched them drive the nails through his hands.

She clenched her chest hard, with tears rolling down her eyes. Was this really her son?, she asked those around her in deep anguish.

She stood near the cross and wept uncontrollably. She was broken beyond repair. She was wounded in places no one will ever understand.

The tears filled her eyes afresh as she heard men mock and scorn him. His face was splattered with blood. His body tired from the pain.

He was her son. He was the son of God. She was his mother. But her motherhood came with a high price. She looked on in pain as words failed her at this time.

But just at that moment, something happens. Continue reading

Prayer Seeds – The Greatest Teacher You Will Ever Meet

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Do you remember sitting in the lecture hall at the University bored and counting seconds while staring blankly into space?

You were eager to leave the hall and lecturer whose teaching made learning look like a chore. His lectures left you worn out and wondering if you will ever truly grasp his subject in depth.

But then, you also have some classes that got you all excited. You always ensured that you made it to the front row, just because you were so sure that knowledge will be impacted. This is what being taught by a great and not- so-great teacher looks like.

Did you know that God teaches his children as well? And I bet you will agree with me that he is a great teacher, perhaps the greatest teacher of all time.

He teaches via stories, nature, counsel, his word and through people. He even reveals secrets when you get to experience his live masterclasses.

If God is a teacher, then he can teach your children about who he is and why they are here as they journey through life. I stumbled on this ‘seed word’ sometime ago and it says,

“Teach me to do Your will [so that I may please You], For You are my God; Let Your good Spirit lead me on level ground.”
PSALMS 143:10 AMP

The world is so full of distractions and perversion right now and one of the best things you can do for your child is to pray for him/her.

The psalmist saw God as his teacher and spoke those words to him. Will you speak those words in prayer today over your child/children?

Take a moment and plant this word seed in the life of your child/children today.

Lord teach ……………… to do your will all the days of his/his life. Open his/her heart to learn and listen for your counsel at all times. Continue reading

Prayer Seeds – He Never Leaves You or Forsakes You Even When Others Do

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A young teenage girl once got pregnant. Hell broke loose in her home! Her father’s anger was felt with each step he took.

He clamped his hands together and nodded his head frantically, sighing intermittently beneath his breath and calling out her name in disbelief. She was broken and could no longer look him in the eye.

He was so furious and lacked words to express his disappointment. She was his little princess who had broken his heart to pieces.

He immediately ordered her mother to send her out of their home. He could not live with the shame and did not want to do something he would later regret.

He felt betrayed by a child whom he had worked so hard to provide all that she needed and requested for. He was enraged and never wanted to set his eyes on her again.

She was sent away from a place she had always called home and was now left to bear the cost of her mistakes alone. She had to learn to navigate the highly emotional waters of carrying a pregnancy and birthing a child. She felt alone. She felt abandoned. She felt forsaken.

But do you know that irrespective of your flaws, mistakes, past and imperfections, God never leaves or forsakes you?

There is this assurance that comes with knowing that there is someone who never leaves you or forsakes you in the midst of a life storm.

There is also this peace that comes with knowing, that there is someone who never abandons you when you fall or fail.

And do you know that this same comfort can be passed on to your children when you pray and speak God’s word over their lives,

Moses spoke these words to Joshua after he had been chosen as the one to lead God’s children into the promised land. It was a new season that came with fear and doubts. I believe that these words must have encouraged him.

“Do not be afraid or discouraged, for the Lord will personally go ahead of you. He will be with you; he will neither fail you nor abandon you.”Deuteronomy 31:8 NLT

Even if all other things fail, I can assure you that God will never abandon your child. In whatever difficult season of life he/she maybe walking through, God will never leave him or forsake him/her.

So will you take a moment today to pray or speak this ‘seed word’ over the life of your child.

Can you plant this word seed in the lives of your child/children today?

Prayer Seed
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Lord, I thank you for ………………. Thank you because you will always be there for …………….. in every season of his/her life.

Thank you because in the midst of every storm and difficulty they will face. You will never leave or abandon them.

Lord even when they fall and make mistakes, you will be there for them.

You will not leave …….. alone to face life’s challenges on their own. You will not abandon them during critical decision making seasons. You always be there for them. Thank you father for never leaving or forsaking ………..

Remember that there is power in a seed called God’s word.

Many Hugs,

Ufuoma

Prayer Seeds – Who/What Can Shield You on All Sides?

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Did you know that an armour is one of the most important part of every soldier’s equipment?

This remains true today, as it was for the Roman soldiers from thousands of years ago.

The technology of the armour may have changed but the ultimate aim remains, protecting the soldier during battle. And a shield was one of the most important piece of the ancient Roman soldier’s armour.

A shield is a piece of personal armour held in the hand or mounted on the wrist or forearm. Shields are used to intercept specific attacks, whether from close-ranged weaponry or projectiles such as arrows by means of active blocks.

Now you imagine a Roman soldier with his shield,sword and spear, geared up and ready for battle.

He charges towards his enemy with great energy, holding his shield close to his chest. He is fearless in pursuit of his victory. His shield is also ready to protect him from all the arrows shot at him by his opponent.

Sometimes these Roman soldiers form a solid defence with their armor. They kneel with one leg raised and the other holding them up.

They are closely knit together with their shields held up as a strong and immovable defence. They are ready to defend their territory with every ounce of strength in their bodies. Their shield has become a strong defence roundabout them.

This is what it looks like when this ‘word seed’ says God is a shield for you.

But thou, O Lord , art a shield for me; my glory, and the lifter up of mine head.
Psalms 3:3 KJV

But you, God , shield me on all sides; You ground my feet, you lift my head high; With all my might I shout up to God , His answers thunder from the holy mountain.
Psalm 3:3‭-‬4 MSG

David spoke these words when he fled from Absalom his son. He said to God, you shield me on all sides.

Do you know that God can shield your children on all sides? Continue reading

Prayer Seeds: Battle Plans and a Superior Force in Battle

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A former US Marine once gave the following tips for drafting a battle plan.

He said, “Learn as much as you can about your opponent, his fighting style, whether he uses armor aircraft or soldiers alone.

Determine where and when he is most likely to strike and using that information, place your assets in, near and around that target area. When he strikes, you will be ready, but be prepared for surprises.”

But then in the midst of all of these plans, how well prepared can you be in the day of battle. Surprises are always the greatest threat to any battle.

So you can imagine how I felt when I stumbled on this powerful ‘seed word’ in my bible.

O God the Lord, the strength of my salvation, thou hast covered my head in the day of battle. Psalms 140:7 KJV

O Lord, you are my God and my saving strength! My Hero-God, you wrap yourself around me to protect me. For I’m surrounded by your presence in my day of battle.
Psalms 140:7 TPT

Did you know that there is a battle for lives, souls and destinies of your children? Continue reading