WHAT DOES POURING OUT YOUR HEART LIKE WATER MEAN?

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Someone once shared with me about her childhood. She and her siblings grew up seeing her mom move around the house always mumbling words to herself.

She grew up accustomed to that image of a woman, who sat still within the confines of their home, having deep conversations with herself. They had come to accept that something was not quite right with their mother.

Fast forward to many years later. That young child was now a young woman. The blurred images from yesterday were now clear pictures. Her mom had aged now but still moved around their home talking to herself and laughing out loud.

She had peeped at her on one of those days, and in that moment she understood what had been all along.

She found her sitted on her favorite sofa, having conversations with a stranger. This person was so real to her mother but unseen to her.

She watched her mother willingly share her fears, desires and argue her case with great precision before this unseen being.

But then, it hit her in that place and moment, that her mom had always been in prayer mode all these years.

God was a person to her, and she had mastered the art of conversing daily with him. This is how she had learnt to pray and pour out her heart like water before her heavenly father.

So what happens when mothers pray.

What happens when a mother understands her place in the destinies of her children? Continue reading

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WHY YOU MOTHER – WISHES, WORRIES AND WINS

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It must have been like 10 years ago. I was with a young woman who later became a friend. She was married with a daughter at that time. I often enjoyed her presence and our lessons together.

I learnt a lot about homeliness just watching her. I could feel the warmth anytime I was around her. She also had this calm disposition and a smile that always spoke a thousand words.

But at that time, she had a deep longing in her heart. It was a silent wish to be a mother again. She wished to hold another child in her hands. It was a silent desire and sometimes we spoke about it in our conversations.

Not that she was under any kind of pressure from her husband, but society and cultural influences had quickly put her on the hot seat. Then she got to hear words like, “Madam what are you waiting for now? Have you not had another child since then?”

I can imagine how many of those words she heard in that season of her life. She really wished so much to have another child, but then she said to me on one of those days, ” I have one and I am eternally grateful for her. It will be so unfair of me to let worry drown my soul. What of those women that have none?”

Someone once said to me, “Look at my home, I have all of this and everything I desire. But I truly wish there were children running around playing and laughing, shutting out this silence in her world. ” This was one of her many worries.

Have you ever met a young married woman in dire need of a child [ especially in this part of the world]?

She counts days on the calendars with so much detail. She always asks to know if there is something she is doing wrong. She sits aloof at times and cries her heart out at other times.

She sometimes throws away constraints and starts to seek answers in the wrong places. She is worried sick as the years roll by. But then her miracle seems miles away and silence surrounds her like a river.

Yes, we all have diverse wishes and worries. While one woman wishes for a better marriage, another wishes to feel the beauty of carrying a life inside her.

While one woman wishes for a better life for her children, another worries that she may never know what it feels like to hold a child in her arms.

While one woman wishes to meet the man of her dreams, another worries that singlehood will stay glued to her forever.

And just like your wishes are different from mine, so will our paths and stories also differ. Wishes do come true and sometimes it remains what it is ‘ a wish’.

So while you wish and wait, know that wishes come true and sometimes the universe will go silent.

So while you wish and wait, remember to learn lessons on your journey. Remember to write stories of hope and love. Remember to become a better you, that you may have to give the next generation. And this is “Why you Mother”

And someone asks, What if those wishes never come true? This is what I have to say. Look within and keep living. Look within and keep loving. Look within and keep giving. Continue reading

Why You Mother – Purpose, Power and Influence

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There is the story of a mother from long ago. She was the wife of a minister who had 10 children. Her home was always a beehive of activity, yet she was in control and never compromised her time with God.

She had a daily two-hour routine and her children had grown to understand that part of their mother’s life. She had a spot in her home where she spent time with God everyday. She always pulled her apron over her head to curb the distraction of playing children.

Many who walked pass that building grew accustomed to this odd looking posture by the window. But in the privacy of her self-made little tent, she built a deep relationship with God through his word and interceded for her husband and children.

Two of her children, John and Charles Wesley went on to shape the course of Christian history. Charles wrote more than 6600 hymns, many of which are still in hymnals around the world today. His mother was Susannah Wesley.

She understood her place in the course of history. She understood that her purpose was to birth and nurture greatness. She understood that prayer was a powerful tool in shaping the destinies of her children. And this is ‘Why You Mother’.

There is another mother that also comes to mind. She reminds me of the power you have in your hands. She shut down excuses and broke down walls of limitation. She wielded the power in her hands and made a difference in the lives of her children.

Her son was struggling in school and was at the bottom of his class. In a place of quietness, she received wisdom. She asked her sons to read a book each week and write a written report about the book to her. She was an uneducated single mother working odd jobs to cater for her sons.

This action as told by her son, Benjamin Carson, opened up his mind to a whole new world of learning. He could now answer questions in the classroom with great confidence.

His desire and hunger for knowledge multiplied. He rose from the bottom of the class to the top. He went on to become a world renowned Neuro-surgeon. His mother was Sonya Carson.

She understood that mothers never give up on their children. She understood that mothers have the power to make a difference in the lives of her children. She understood the place of wisdom and discernment in the life of a mother. And this is ‘Why You Mother’.

How can I forget this mother. I call her mother even though she has no biological child of her own. I remember watching one of her birthday celebrations many years ago. Several young men from Morehouse College filed out to celebrate her that day. Continue reading

Why You Mother – Milestones, Moments and Memories

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My arms were flung wide open, pure joy was written all over me as he staggered towards me with excitement.

I can still hear the sound of his laughter. He was thrilled at his new discovery. He no longer had to feel the pressure of the hard floor on his knees. He could walk now.

I watched him from a safe distance as he took his first steps. He took a few steps and fell to the ground, he picked himself up and took a few more steps. We were both thrilled. A tide of gratitude washed over me. A new territory to conquer. A new terrain to explore. A new milestone accomplished!

This was about 9 years ago and there have been other milestones and many more to come. I am in awe of God’s love and how he has walked me through each milestone. The first word spoken, the first kick on a ball, the first scribble, the first prayer said, the first lego creation and the first bicycle ride.

Did you know that these milestones are the memories that will light up your soul in the twilight season of your life?

Do you know that every day gives you some moments to teach and impact your children as a mother?

I remember those moments when my son says, ” Mummy are you listening?”, trying to get my full listening ears while telling me something that happened. I am craving for some alone time at that point, but then I remember, this may be a ‘ teachable moment’ and I turn to give him my full attention.

On this motherhood journey, you will have moments of pure joy and laughter. You will have moments of celebration and gratitude. You will also have moments to teach and model values.

You will have moments to listen and learn. You will have moments when you tear up. You will have moments of trust and hope.
You will have moments of prayer and faith.
You will have moments of leading and giving. And this is why you ‘Mother’. Continue reading

WHY YOU MOTHER – WEAPONS, BATTLES AND DESTINIES

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She looked me in the eye and said to me,

” Never wait for tomorrow to start praying for your children. It may be too late. Get down on your knees now and cry, get down on your knees now and fight, get down on your knees and speak those things you want to see in their lives. The fight is on your knees. The battle starts and ends on your knees”

Her son had turned a destructive path and her words lacked meaning to him. Nothing she said yielded results. He often told her to ‘let him be’ and that he had his own life to live.

The sun fades quietly into the night, men and women cuddled up in their beds, exhausted from a long and tiring day. The stillness of the night creeps in, night time creatures crawl out from their hiding places ready to hunt down their prey for the day.

And just like the buzzing sound from an alarm clock, she hears the call within her. She rises up. It is time for battle. It is time to go to war. She must fight for her son. She must fight for her seed. She must fight for her legacy.

A new year is upon us, the feasting and celebrations are over and the motherhood journey continues.

Your children daily surround your table and you have another year, perhaps a lifetime to make deep impressions and lasting impact in their hearts and lives.

The world is also playing its part by putting the wrong images, mindsets and conversations daily before your children. You find it on TV, radio, books, homes, schools and relationships.

What will your role be in all of this? Continue reading

WHY YOU MOTHER – ON GARDENS, HOMES AND MOTHERHOOD

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Everyday I sit still within the confines of my home. I watch with detail the events that come with each new day. And yes, I have a beautiful home garden where I get to plant, nurture and give life every single day.

Did you know that your home is like that garden filled with beautiful plants, herbs and flowers? Never forget that weeds and pests come with this territory too.

And yes, every plant is useful in its own way. And just as my Aloe Vera plant blesses me with its rich gel for my skin and hair, every plant has a reason for its existence.

Did you also know that these plants come in different sizes, shapes and will thrive in different seasons? And yes, they will respond to your nurture in different ways, blooming at your touch and tenderness.

Some of your plants will need that extra care, that ‘Midas Touch’ that makes all the difference in its growth journey. You will get to watch with awe as others blossom at nature’s own special touch.

My plants are all shades bright and beautiful. They bring so much sunshine and sparkle to my soul. Oh! How I love to savor those moments when I get to look at them and take in all of their glory.

I hope you also know that your plants are very different from mine and what they become has a lot to do with how you nurture, groom and protect them.

This little plant of yours will only thrive and blossom if you are willing to put in the work. The right amount of water and sunshine. The patience to clear off those weeds and a little manure to enrich the soil. That golden touch is that which makes your plant always a beauty to behold.

I guess you never knew that you had a beautiful garden right inside your home. A garden full of lives tender and wild. A garden filled with priceless treasures, rare gems and valuable souls. Continue reading

Hey Momma, What Are You Grateful For?

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” Do not worry Oga, you can say all you want now, but one thing I know is that there is hope for a tree that is cut down. Even though it may take time, it will surely grow again. ”

Those words were spoken by my mother many years ago. She came home that evening from her trading business and shared with us about her not-so-good day.

It was a challenging season in her life and she had stumbled on those hope- filled words in a magazine some time ago. So when her creditor set out to embarrass her on that particular day, she replied him with those same words. Her hope was reborn.

Do you know that there is always hope for a tree that is cut down? It either gets the opportunity to sprout again or its parts processed for better use.

My mother was grateful for the gift of life at that moment. She was grateful for her family at that point. She did not have all that she desired, but she had a home to go to, she had a family she could laugh with and share whatever was available to eat with.

She was alive and healthy and so were her husband and children. She held on to hope and kept faith for a beautiful tomorrow. Yes, she told us with a smile that night again, that there is hope for a tree that is cut down, it will surely sprout again.

So if I may ask you momma, what are you grateful for? It is a few days to the end of the year and looking back, perhaps all you see are unachieved goals, broken dreams, trauma, untold hardship, pain, betrayal, failed relationships, sudden tragedies, bitterness and hopelessness. Continue reading

Who Am I? You are Called Mother

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She sits through seasons in her life, watching as she evolves with the complexities that comes with the dawning of a new day.

She has walked through seasons of despair and hopelessness, but still she stands and works to make a difference with her life.

Who am I? She asks, as she seeks to answer the many questions in her head.

She gives her heart to the one who awakened the butterflies in her stomach. Together as one they desire to grow their circle of influence on the earth.

Who am I? She asks as she ponders about “what next” on this journey she has chosen to walk.

And then she watches her body change in the twinkle of an eye. Her once upon a time slim frame fills up to accommodate the life growing inside of her. Soon the baby bump is revealed and the mother within is seen and felt.

And then after what looks like a forever 9-month journey, her world comes to a temporary halt, she is star-struck when she meets and holds her newborn in her arms for the first time.

Who am I? She asks, as she reaches into the deep recesses of her soul to take in this moment of love so pure and beautiful.

She holds him close to her heart. She rocks him with arms so tender. She whispers his name and reaches out to stroke his chubby cheeks. She speaks words dripping with love into his tinny winny ears. She tells him how much he means to her. Her life changed forever. Continue reading

What Makes a Scar Beautiful (2)?

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3 Lessons from My C-section Experience
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‘You will give birth like the Hebrew woman. You will push your baby yourself. You will have a normal delivery’, the middle-aged woman prayed as shouts of ‘Amen’ filled the atmosphere.

It was the usual weekly ante-natal clinic. Many women showed up with different stomach sizes. Some carried their bumps with grace, some struggled through each week with their huge bumps, while some wore the strains of pregnancy like an ornament.

Faces were puffed up, noses became broader for some as the weeks rolled by, hips widened and many could hardly remember what they looked like. The life growing in us had changed us physically and emotionally.

I whispered my ‘Amen’ too as the middle-aged nurse rounded up her prayer for us. I was looking forward to a quick and safe delivery. Infact I envisaged a shorter time in labour because I had prayed so much and my faith was over the roof.

But then the morning after my last ante-natal clinic, a toilet bowl filled with blood led to my very first C-section experience.

I was heartbroken hearing the doctor explain why this was the best option for me now. I felt God had let me down and I did not even know what to expect.

I knew women who had C-sections. I had seen their scars but hearing some women openly reject C-sections overtime as a choice of birth made me wonder at times. But here I was about to be cut open to give life to another.

I grabbed my Bible and began to read Psalm 91 aloud. I read it over and over until I was wheeled into the theatre. I woke up minutes later, the anaesthetic slowly fading away, I was groggy and my belly felt empty, and then I asked, “Where is my baby? Where is my baby? ”

And then I beheld the most beautiful thing snuggled up in my husband’s arms. I was a mother again five years after having my first child. I touched beneath my belly, the cut was covered up with plasters and had just began its healing process.

It was a priceless moment. I realised then that pushes or cuts do not matter. What matters is a mother’s strength and courage in giving life to another. Here are 3 lessons from my C-section experience. Continue reading

What Every Little Girl Needs to Know

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I wrote this post some days ago in honour of the girl child…..

“Aunty, I will like to go back to school one day”. These were the words of a young teenage girl I met many years ago.

She sold recharge cards around the stadium in town, while I was in the University. And then somehow our paths crossed.

She lived with her aunt and had to stop going to school because of lack of funds. So she was at that spot every day trying to make money for her aunty.

I gave her things when I could and always encouraged her never to give up on her dreams of getting an education. She liked me a lot and always looked forward to my visits.

Years have passed, I graduated and moved on and never got to see my teenage friend again. I wonder if my words took deep roots in her heart, and if she ever returned to school.

Fast forward to some years later. I was on my way to work in the evening. I was on a night shift through that week. So after alighting at my bus-stop, I will walk down a long stretch of quiet road to my office.

It was usually between 6.30pm and 7.30pm. I  walked very fast because of the lonely nature of the road. On one of those days, I noticed a little girl of about 9 years old hawking her goods meters away from me.

And then I saw a middle-aged man by her side. They looked like they knew each other. He was squeezing her backside and fondling her body with a nasty look on his face. She pushed his hand away and he put it back where he wanted.

I took the next turn to my office as I wondered about what could happen to that little girl. Will that young man violate her? Will he sexually abuse her and tell her never to tell anyone? Will he steal her innocence and keep luring her with gifts? Why was she hawking at this time of the day? These were the questions in head.

There are still many young girls today in different parts of the world who have never been to school. Others were forced to drop out because of poverty and ignorance. Many of these girls suffer physical, mental and sexual abuse before turning 18. Continue reading