Why You Mother – Milestones, Moments and Memories

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My arms were flung wide open, pure joy was written all over me as he staggered towards me with excitement.

I can still hear the sound of his laughter. He was thrilled at his new discovery. He no longer had to feel the pressure of the hard floor on his knees. He could walk now.

I watched him from a safe distance as he took his first steps. He took a few steps and fell to the ground, he picked himself up and took a few more steps. We were both thrilled. A tide of gratitude washed over me. A new territory to conquer. A new terrain to explore. A new milestone accomplished!

This was about 9 years ago and there have been other milestones and many more to come. I am in awe of God’s love and how he has walked me through each milestone. The first word spoken, the first kick on a ball, the first scribble, the first prayer said, the first lego creation and the first bicycle ride.

Did you know that these milestones are the memories that will light up your soul in the twilight season of your life?

Do you know that every day gives you some moments to teach and impact your children as a mother?

I remember those moments when my son says, ” Mummy are you listening?”, trying to get my full listening ears while telling me something that happened. I am craving for some alone time at that point, but then I remember, this may be a ‘ teachable moment’ and I turn to give him my full attention.

On this motherhood journey, you will have moments of pure joy and laughter. You will have moments of celebration and gratitude. You will also have moments to teach and model values.

You will have moments to listen and learn. You will have moments when you tear up. You will have moments of trust and hope.
You will have moments of prayer and faith.
You will have moments of leading and giving. And this is why you ‘Mother’. Continue reading

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WHY YOU MOTHER – WEAPONS, BATTLES AND DESTINIES

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She looked me in the eye and said to me,

” Never wait for tomorrow to start praying for your children. It may be too late. Get down on your knees now and cry, get down on your knees now and fight, get down on your knees and speak those things you want to see in their lives. The fight is on your knees. The battle starts and ends on your knees”

Her son had turned a destructive path and her words lacked meaning to him. Nothing she said yielded results. He often told her to ‘let him be’ and that he had his own life to live.

The sun fades quietly into the night, men and women cuddled up in their beds, exhausted from a long and tiring day. The stillness of the night creeps in, night time creatures crawl out from their hiding places ready to hunt down their prey for the day.

And just like the buzzing sound from an alarm clock, she hears the call within her. She rises up. It is time for battle. It is time to go to war. She must fight for her son. She must fight for her seed. She must fight for her legacy.

A new year is upon us, the feasting and celebrations are over and the motherhood journey continues.

Your children daily surround your table and you have another year, perhaps a lifetime to make deep impressions and lasting impact in their hearts and lives.

The world is also playing its part by putting the wrong images, mindsets and conversations daily before your children. You find it on TV, radio, books, homes, schools and relationships.

What will your role be in all of this? Continue reading

WHY YOU MOTHER – ON GARDENS, HOMES AND MOTHERHOOD

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Everyday I sit still within the confines of my home. I watch with detail the events that come with each new day. And yes, I have a beautiful home garden where I get to plant, nurture and give life every single day.

Did you know that your home is like that garden filled with beautiful plants, herbs and flowers? Never forget that weeds and pests come with this territory too.

And yes, every plant is useful in its own way. And just as my Aloe Vera plant blesses me with its rich gel for my skin and hair, every plant has a reason for its existence.

Did you also know that these plants come in different sizes, shapes and will thrive in different seasons? And yes, they will respond to your nurture in different ways, blooming at your touch and tenderness.

Some of your plants will need that extra care, that ‘Midas Touch’ that makes all the difference in its growth journey. You will get to watch with awe as others blossom at nature’s own special touch.

My plants are all shades bright and beautiful. They bring so much sunshine and sparkle to my soul. Oh! How I love to savor those moments when I get to look at them and take in all of their glory.

I hope you also know that your plants are very different from mine and what they become has a lot to do with how you nurture, groom and protect them.

This little plant of yours will only thrive and blossom if you are willing to put in the work. The right amount of water and sunshine. The patience to clear off those weeds and a little manure to enrich the soil. That golden touch is that which makes your plant always a beauty to behold.

I guess you never knew that you had a beautiful garden right inside your home. A garden full of lives tender and wild. A garden filled with priceless treasures, rare gems and valuable souls. Continue reading

Hey Momma, What Are You Grateful For?

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” Do not worry Oga, you can say all you want now, but one thing I know is that there is hope for a tree that is cut down. Even though it may take time, it will surely grow again. ”

Those words were spoken by my mother many years ago. She came home that evening from her trading business and shared with us about her not-so-good day.

It was a challenging season in her life and she had stumbled on those hope- filled words in a magazine some time ago. So when her creditor set out to embarrass her on that particular day, she replied him with those same words. Her hope was reborn.

Do you know that there is always hope for a tree that is cut down? It either gets the opportunity to sprout again or its parts processed for better use.

My mother was grateful for the gift of life at that moment. She was grateful for her family at that point. She did not have all that she desired, but she had a home to go to, she had a family she could laugh with and share whatever was available to eat with.

She was alive and healthy and so were her husband and children. She held on to hope and kept faith for a beautiful tomorrow. Yes, she told us with a smile that night again, that there is hope for a tree that is cut down, it will surely sprout again.

So if I may ask you momma, what are you grateful for? It is a few days to the end of the year and looking back, perhaps all you see are unachieved goals, broken dreams, trauma, untold hardship, pain, betrayal, failed relationships, sudden tragedies, bitterness and hopelessness. Continue reading

Who Am I? You are Called Mother

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She sits through seasons in her life, watching as she evolves with the complexities that comes with the dawning of a new day.

She has walked through seasons of despair and hopelessness, but still she stands and works to make a difference with her life.

Who am I? She asks, as she seeks to answer the many questions in her head.

She gives her heart to the one who awakened the butterflies in her stomach. Together as one they desire to grow their circle of influence on the earth.

Who am I? She asks as she ponders about “what next” on this journey she has chosen to walk.

And then she watches her body change in the twinkle of an eye. Her once upon a time slim frame fills up to accommodate the life growing inside of her. Soon the baby bump is revealed and the mother within is seen and felt.

And then after what looks like a forever 9-month journey, her world comes to a temporary halt, she is star-struck when she meets and holds her newborn in her arms for the first time.

Who am I? She asks, as she reaches into the deep recesses of her soul to take in this moment of love so pure and beautiful.

She holds him close to her heart. She rocks him with arms so tender. She whispers his name and reaches out to stroke his chubby cheeks. She speaks words dripping with love into his tinny winny ears. She tells him how much he means to her. Her life changed forever. Continue reading

What Makes a Scar Beautiful (2)?

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3 Lessons from My C-section Experience
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‘You will give birth like the Hebrew woman. You will push your baby yourself. You will have a normal delivery’, the middle-aged woman prayed as shouts of ‘Amen’ filled the atmosphere.

It was the usual weekly ante-natal clinic. Many women showed up with different stomach sizes. Some carried their bumps with grace, some struggled through each week with their huge bumps, while some wore the strains of pregnancy like an ornament.

Faces were puffed up, noses became broader for some as the weeks rolled by, hips widened and many could hardly remember what they looked like. The life growing in us had changed us physically and emotionally.

I whispered my ‘Amen’ too as the middle-aged nurse rounded up her prayer for us. I was looking forward to a quick and safe delivery. Infact I envisaged a shorter time in labour because I had prayed so much and my faith was over the roof.

But then the morning after my last ante-natal clinic, a toilet bowl filled with blood led to my very first C-section experience.

I was heartbroken hearing the doctor explain why this was the best option for me now. I felt God had let me down and I did not even know what to expect.

I knew women who had C-sections. I had seen their scars but hearing some women openly reject C-sections overtime as a choice of birth made me wonder at times. But here I was about to be cut open to give life to another.

I grabbed my Bible and began to read Psalm 91 aloud. I read it over and over until I was wheeled into the theatre. I woke up minutes later, the anaesthetic slowly fading away, I was groggy and my belly felt empty, and then I asked, “Where is my baby? Where is my baby? ”

And then I beheld the most beautiful thing snuggled up in my husband’s arms. I was a mother again five years after having my first child. I touched beneath my belly, the cut was covered up with plasters and had just began its healing process.

It was a priceless moment. I realised then that pushes or cuts do not matter. What matters is a mother’s strength and courage in giving life to another. Here are 3 lessons from my C-section experience. Continue reading

What Every Little Girl Needs to Know

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I wrote this post some days ago in honour of the girl child…..

“Aunty, I will like to go back to school one day”. These were the words of a young teenage girl I met many years ago.

She sold recharge cards around the stadium in town, while I was in the University. And then somehow our paths crossed.

She lived with her aunt and had to stop going to school because of lack of funds. So she was at that spot every day trying to make money for her aunty.

I gave her things when I could and always encouraged her never to give up on her dreams of getting an education. She liked me a lot and always looked forward to my visits.

Years have passed, I graduated and moved on and never got to see my teenage friend again. I wonder if my words took deep roots in her heart, and if she ever returned to school.

Fast forward to some years later. I was on my way to work in the evening. I was on a night shift through that week. So after alighting at my bus-stop, I will walk down a long stretch of quiet road to my office.

It was usually between 6.30pm and 7.30pm. I  walked very fast because of the lonely nature of the road. On one of those days, I noticed a little girl of about 9 years old hawking her goods meters away from me.

And then I saw a middle-aged man by her side. They looked like they knew each other. He was squeezing her backside and fondling her body with a nasty look on his face. She pushed his hand away and he put it back where he wanted.

I took the next turn to my office as I wondered about what could happen to that little girl. Will that young man violate her? Will he sexually abuse her and tell her never to tell anyone? Will he steal her innocence and keep luring her with gifts? Why was she hawking at this time of the day? These were the questions in head.

There are still many young girls today in different parts of the world who have never been to school. Others were forced to drop out because of poverty and ignorance. Many of these girls suffer physical, mental and sexual abuse before turning 18. Continue reading

What Makes a Scar Beautiful?

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I stood alongside a woman a few weeks ago in the market. She was tall, bubbly and looked like she was in her 40’s. She had a friendly look and also many words to speak, but something in the words she spoke made me turn my entire focus on her.

How does a young married woman live through losing 7 babies?

How does she walk through life with so much joy after losing 7 children weeks after their birth?

How come she is so proud to show the world her scars?

These were the questions in my head and many more, as I listened to this woman share her story.

She got married like every other woman and was excited to start a family. She got pregnant and then her travails started.

She took in and kept losing the children. Hmm! I was in shock but then I had to ask her, ”Ma, were you having miscarriages or what? ” The words that followed had me sober all day. In her words, ”I will give birth to the child and they will die after weeks or few months”.

I was unable to process the pain and trauma this woman must have been through. Yet she was all smiles and full of gratitude as she shared her story. Continue reading

3 Ways to Get Inspired for Your Motherhood Walk

pexels-photo-256807Do you get worn out sometimes doing the same things over and over again?

Do you feel like shutting out on some days just to regain your sanity?

Do you crave being alone in your personal space away from the noise and mess ?

Do you long for those alone moments where silence can become the best companion?

If you answered yes to these questions, then you are a mother to newborns, toddlers and young children😀😀😀

I remember some years back after a very exhausting day, I was trying to catch a nap when I suddenly felt something tugging at my eyelids. The next voice I hear asks, ‘Mummy are you sleeping?’🙄🙄

Ahhh, this child. You see me with my eyes closed and you are asking me if I am sleeping.**shaking my head with eyes wide open**. But it is amazing how little children come into your world and change a lot of things.

You will give more as a mother, you will love more, you will learn to adapt and you will learn patience while interacting with your little ones.

Your motherhood walk is in seasons. There will be seasons of growth, seasons of learning, seasons of teaching and seasons of impacting. But while on this walk, distractions will come, challenges will show up and you may even get to loose focus of what it means to be a mother on this journey.

But then, are you willing to find new ways to make your motherhood walk a memorable one? Here are 3 ways that you can find inspiration for your motherhood walk. Continue reading

Why I Wrote the Book ‘Dear mother’

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I remember sitting down somewhere in my room with tears rolling down my eyes some years ago. My emotions had taken a better part of me.

My mother had just left after a 6 week stay with me following the birth of my first child. She had helped to ease my transition into motherhood with her presence and it was now time for her to leave. She said goodbye and I was left alone to begin my motherhood walk.

At about this time last year, I had a deep desire in my heart to inspire mothers. You will agree with me that mothers go through a lot, from caring for their little ones, to building their character, to house-keeping, to working 9 to 5 jobs and still being able to make their homes a safe and secure haven.

You also know how some mothers are trying so much to balance work and family, while there are others who are struggling daily to find purpose and meaning in their lives as stay-at-home mothers. So I decided to start a blog and write to inspire and encourage them. I also began to write a ” Dear mother ” series of posts which was me writing from my heart and penning down my thoughts to inspire mothers in their motherhood journey.

And so, a few months ago, I decided to put those thoughts together in an e- book to give mothers a good dose of inspiration for their motherhood walk. I also wanted them to receive fresh inspiration everyday in the month. Hence the book, DEAR MOTHER: 30 DAYS OF FRESH INSPIRATION FOR YOUR MOTHERHOOD WALK was born. Continue reading